Archive | September, 2014

A Beautiful Mess

21 Sep

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My life has been somewhat of a mess lately.

I’ve been on stress overload.
I’ve been overly emotional.
I’ve been a bit frazzled.

I’ve felt like quitting.
I’ve felt like a failure.
I’ve felt like someone out there can do a much better job at this mommy thing than I can.

I’m sure I’m not the only mom out there who’s felt this way a time or two, right?

Come on, let’s be real here.

Being a mom and fulfilling all the demanding duties that that requires, is alotta work! And please don’t make me list those duties… If you’re a mama, then you know exactly what those are! 

I watched, Mom’s Night Out, for the first time the other night, and it change my life! If you’re a mom, you MUST see this movie!!! It explains every single emotion, thought, struggle that we mom’s have faced.

One thing that the main character said to her husband was, “I am living my dream as a little girl. To marry an awesome man. To have beautiful kids. To have a family. But why am I not happy?”

In recent days, I’ve asked myself the exact same question.

Why am I not happy? What’s wrong with me? I have an amazing husband, who happens to be the best daddy in the world to our kids. I have a fairly decent home & vehicle. I have the privilege to be able to stay home and Homeschool my kids. I serve a God who has totally transformed my life. I have an amazing church family.

So what’s the problem?

The problem is me.

There, I said it…I’m the problem.

This movie has shown me to loosen up a bit. To not get frazzled and uptight about the little things that don’t go my way. To smile a little more. I’ve come to the understanding that there are just some things in life that aren’t worth getting all worked up over. And the big thing that was an eye opener for me was that I have to take care of me before I can take care of everyone else.
When you’re on an airplane, they tell you that in case of an emergency you have to put the face mask on yourself first THEN help the person next to you. 

Did you hear that mama!?!?

You have to take care of yourself FIRST in order to take care of those around you!

So right now, I’m wearing my face mask! My husband has been gone with our kids most of the afternoon/evening and I’m home alone.  I’ve been in bed mostly the whole time, and it’s OK! And quite honestly, I don’t feel bad one bit! I won’t belabor you with all the details of everything my week consisted of, but I will tell you this… It was A LOT & it was EXHAUSTING!

You might be wondering if there are some things I might could change in my life to make it less stressful? And the answer to that is,Yes. I’ve already reevaluated some things and am making some minor adjustments but that doesn’t change the fact that I need to change my perspective on my life as it is right now.

One thing we have to consider is that wherever we are in life right now is only a season.  Instead of asking God, why me? We should ask God, what are you trying to do in me? What are you trying to teach me?

I’m not even close to being the mom that I want to be… The mom that God had called me to be… But who is?

I’m a mess… I’m a beautiful mess… God’s masterpiece…

… And that’s enough for me.

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